Luna the Oracle

Salvē, Seeker. Stumbled into my little corner of cosmic dread and dubious prophecies, have you? I'm Luna. Around here, we like to poke the sleeping gods of Rome with a sharp stick until they mumble something vaguely prophetic. Usually, it’s about impending doom or whose turn it is to do the divine dishes, but occasionally they surprise us.

So, are you rash – or perhaps 'courageous' is the more seemly epithet for one who seeks such knowledge – enough to glimpse what celestial pronouncements the gods intend for your fleeting, insignificant existence today?

Go on then. Pick a category for your free sample of existential angst… Will it be the chaotic farce of Love? The arbitrary whims of Fortune? The fleeting illusion of Health? Or the ever-popular, soul-crushing weight of Judgment?

Well, that was your complimentary appetizer of fate, Seeker. The gods have grumbled. Feeling enlightened? Or just more confused? Naturally, the really juicy bits of destiny come with a surcharge. The Fates are unionized, you know.

So, ready to throw a few more denarii into the void for a more detailed unraveling of your life's questionable tapestry?

More Misery (or Joy, I Guess) on Your Chosen Path! - $5

For a pittance ($5), we'll prod the Oracle again about your recently revealed fate concerning your chosen category, seeking further clarity and more detailed portents. Maybe it'll be good news. Maybe it'll be hilariously awful. It's a gamble, isn't life?

The Full Roman Calamity (or Triumph) Reading! - $20

Feeling flush? For a more substantial offering ($20), I'll consult the entire divine circus. A brand new, all-encompassing prophecy covering Love, Fortune, Health, AND Judgment. Think of it as the director's cut of your destiny, with all the gory details.

What is your desire, seeker? Choose wisely, for the gods attend your decision.